You may have (probably have not) noticed that I haven’t been posting here lately, and that I haven’t been liking any of your posts. That’s because I haven’t been logging in to Tumblr at all lately, which was part of an experiment I conducted with myself to see if I felt generally better about my life throughout the day if I never thought/stressed about posting anything or following a reblog-a-thon surrounding social justice issues.
I haven’t looked at my dashboard in about 8 weeks, and I don’t miss it, ultimately. I miss YOU — like, talking to people on here and seeing what everyone’s up to, but unfortunately, I’m just not into what Tumblr is doing lately. Not only do I not really care for the changes Yahoo has made to the service and the lack of progress in many areas, I think the content is changing, too, and not for the better.
I created this account in 2008 and have met so many awesome people through the service. Some people I’ve met on here have even become real-life friends. I have posted thousands of stupid things, and I’ve written a few things I’ve really liked. So it makes me sad to say that I think I’m done with Tumblr. I’m not going to delete my account or anything (at least right away), but I’m going to continue not posting and not looking at my dashboard, and I think that’s for the best. None of this matters at all in the grand scheme of things but I wanted to let you know why I’m not doing anything with my account.
I still want to keep in touch with you, so please find me on Twitter or Instagram and I will follow you right back. Thanks for all the likes, reblogs, terrible memes, cat pictures, rants about men, and general tomfoolery that made this place awesome.
I leave you with a gif of Elisha Cuthbert crying while eating food from Happy Endings, a canceled cult favorite TV show, because it’s the most Tumblr thing I could possibly think of.
You all rule. I love you, bye.
This whole interview is great because it’s basically just Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making fun of how bad the interviewer is, but here are my favorite two parts:
THR: A challenge: $1,000 if both of you wear Amy Adams’ plunging blouse thing from American Hustle.
Fey: First of all, if you think my going rate for anything is $1,000 you are looking at an old catalog. I get at least $12,000 to dress up in sexual costumes for people. I would wear that for free. You would not have to pay me to wear that.
Poehler: Oh eww, I don’t want to even answer this question. Pass. Next.
THR: After a lot of public criticism, SNL has added an African-American women to the cast. Do you think that criticism was warranted?
Poehler: Ugh, I don’t want to talk about this. Pass.
Amy Poehler is my role model in life for not talking about or doing dumb shit.
But I had to turn on both my ovens full blast to get the temp in my apartment above 60 degrees. So I hope you’ll indulge me.
I once lived in a brick loft in Illinois and during one particularly bad snowstorm, we had to shove pieces of clothing into the holes in the mortar because it was literally snowing INSIDE OUR APARTMENT.
The Midwest is some crazy shit, man.
From here on out, I’m just going to automatically send this to anyone who asks why I don’t want to have kids.
Really, can we do this?
I wholeheartedly endorse this.
Day 1 (Chicago, with my family): Oh man, this is great! I love the holidays and I really missed everyone.
Day 2: I am going to murder my parents*.
Day 3: What the fuck is this weather? How did I live here for 24 years? 0 degrees? This is bullshit.
Day 4: I am going to murder my boyfriend and my parents*.
Day 5 (leaving Chicago, back to SF for a night): What a great Christmas. I’m so lucky to have these people in my life.
Day 6 (headed to Vancouver to see his family): Fuck, we’re going back to the airport. I hate airports. I hate everything.
Later on in day 6: Aw, I forgot how nice his family is. This is great. And Canada is so charming!
Day 7: I am going to murder his parents*.
Day 8: What the fuck is this weather? 40 and raining all the time? How did he live here for 31 years?
Day 9: I hate Canada and everyone in it. I am going to murder Canada*.
Day 10 (home in SF): Well, that was nice! What a lovely holiday. We’re so lucky.
Fuck a new year resolution—how do I make OTHER PEOPLE better??
Inspired by this, in lieu of writing my own New Years resolutions (because I like my life a whole lot and would change almost nothing), here are some suggestions for OTHER people in 2014:
Mind your own damn business.
When someone tells you they don’t want to have children, DON’T say “oh no, why not?” or “but you’d be such a good mother/father”. Just acknowledge that person’s life choice as their own life choice or shut up. Actually, just shut up.
Do a better job at everything. Just try more.
Don’t make other people clean up your messes. Clean up your own damn messes.
Don’t make plans you have no intention of keeping.
Be a better human to other humans. Or leave them alone. Don’t leave them hanging in some kind of weird emotional purgatory you created.
Walk faster and get out of the way on busy sidewalks. You are probably in the way.
Seriously, just shut up.